There is always someone somewhere in the world, poking you from the back, or someone who try their best to impress you so you will like them; or there is also someone out there who try their best to forget you and the scars you made on them. There may be also the evil one, slowly planning their ways to get you in deep shit, but, there also someone who always in standby mode, preparing to catch you when the evil's succeeded. You will never know who they are, like surprises. They might be someone who is by your side all the time, or the one who slowly watched your back from behind.

I love people who love me (who dont?), and of course, i hate the people who betrayed me, back stabbed me. Or those who wearing a mask, trying to be good.

So many different people, so many different personalities.

I want to be a carefree person from now on, careless on all the bitching, rumors, and also not to forget, do not cry over small little stuff that hurts my feelings. Cried for disappointment, cried for disapproval. It was all about an easy method to solve it but human are too complicated, they don't believe in simplicity, tried to make everything so complicated where all we have to do is just untie a knot, either by a click or a string. So, I have decided to be the me from ten years ago, where lollipop and snow white were my best friends, i don't want to hate. Hatred, that powerful sword.

I want to make my heart smile from now on, and i will only be with the people, who are capable to make my heart smile, too.

Family, loves, friends, beautiful dogs and everything. I have everything that i have wanted, why do i have to care so much still?  No. I am changing.





It was a cloudy windy afternoon. I sat on my balcony with my laptop and a cup of hot chocolate i bought from starbucks. I sat and think. And that felt so good.

Carefree, yeah, that's exactly the answer that i have been searching for so long.


Dee

Sometimes, you climbed out of your bed in the morning and think, you are not going to make it, but you laugh inside- remembering all the times you felt that way.

THAT way that works everytime.

Tomorrow morning right before the sun shine reaches my eyes, it's not gonna be me, sleeping alone anymore. :)

Suddenly, the airport seems like the place that i can't wait to go.


Dee

Sometimes i believe, everything has an ends,

Sometimes, i believe in forever.

I fell asleep while he was telling me about dogs.

And I fell asleep again some night without telling him.

It was that night when skype fail in dialing, and fail the only connection between us.

I don't blame anything, I don't even dare to blame the distance. It was purely my choice in loving you.

And now you are busy doing your assignment and i am busy doing mine. I feel just as much content by just looking at you doing your work in the little square box beside my photoshop, and yeah, in screen. A square box. Couldn't touch, but only listening to the air; Paper cutting sound, or when you slam your ruler on the table when you couldn't find your eraser. I smile and continue designing my brochure that due on this coming wednesday.

The only thing that i can't wait when you are away is to hear your snoring sound at night when you fell asleep before me; or may be talk on the phone until the sun rise up.

And that's when you were away.

And now, i want to wear your sweatshirt to sleep, watch scary movie with you even though you don't have the gut, sneak out at night to look at the stars with you, play your favorite soccer game, make you watch chick flicks, kiss you in the rain, go on walks with you, laugh until i can't breath, wrestle on the bed, hold hands, build and sandcastle and destroy it, sit in front of fireplace and talk about life.

I just want to fall hopelessly in love with you.

It is just a few days away. We, can make it.

Dee