I have always been a sucker for pain. Failed in retrieving them in a good way and a softer way. And this makes me fall so hard, so hard that i couldn't do anything to help it. Nothing more than a sentence of honesty, it wins over thousand of words in an explanation letter, or a sorry letter that fold with dry rose petals and sealed with a kiss.
Nothing wins a sentence of honesty. And a responsibility that meant to share and carried by two individual's shoulders.
This is one of the murmuring night that happen many times in many months. Its one of the night that i couldn't sleep. One of the night when i cried and no one else will know about it. and also one of the night when i scream in my heart in the shower.
Everyone has their road taken, to cry or to laugh, its up to us. To face the pros or cons, the achievement or disappointment, its also up to us. The world seems to curl up with fast beating heart tonight, and i felt like everything, everything is going to swallow me right now, bits by bits. Everything is a mess. Everything is dis coordinated. Everything doesn't seems as perfect as it was meant to be. I miss the laughing at Jamal with mark and blonde and also the old couple who sat behind us that night. They talked about everything. I overheard the topic of them arguing on the diapers changing, the topic on why the hell is the lady who sell kueh tiao theng at Siam road not selling anymore, they talked about everything, they told each other, everything. They seems happy. Really happy.
Yesterday i woke up with helium balloons on top of my head, All around the room. I was happy. I went to watch too cliche disappointing new moon. I wore my favorite sweater with a short pants, i swing around, i smile.
did you know that it’s already end of November… doesn’t time fly. How i wish time would stop. Like how we capture moment in photoes, then we could choose when we want to go back to the moment by just clicking on the particular pictures while browsing them one by one. I also wish i didn’t get hurt so easily. it’s becoming so difficult to love people when they all seem so abrasive and uncaring.
Everyone at this place were sad, tired and frustrated. I dont want this anymore.
I want it to stop right now.
Time tunnel, will you be there.
Dee
Post a Comment