aphrodite_live_her's Xanga

Okay u win.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:11:40 GMT

Afraid of losing faith therefore, you stop taking chance. Afraid of breaking your own heart, you stop caring. You stop talking, you stop falling in love, you stop every beautiful things to bloom.

It was so near. Its like if i tip my toes and raise up my hand, I could almost touch the happiness. But life is not easy, its not something that you can amend in the photoshop.

I have so much care on a specific thing and that make me lose it, instantly. And i don't even quiet know the reason why is it still a threat.

Sometimes apologies in a relationship doesn't mean you are wrong, it is just because you valued your relationship more than your ego.

Shut up. Stop saying I am winning all the time. It's stupid.

I have so many emotions right now, and i don't even know where should i start to write.

Right now, i just want to slash everything in front of me with a sharp knife.

So much hatred. So much angers. So much tears.

I need a star.

Dee

P.s: And yes all, i took every pictures all by myself. If i don't i will credit it.

But its okay now. :D

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 05:21:49 GMT

Sometimes, you climbed out of your bed in the morning and think, you are not going to make it, but you laugh inside- remembering all the times you felt that way.

THAT way that works everytime.

Tomorrow morning right before the sun shine reaches my eyes, it's not gonna be me, sleeping alone anymore. :)

Suddenly, the airport seems like the place that i can't wait to go.

Dee

Remember,

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 11:45:58 GMT

That men is not always better, smarter than woman.

Dee

Look out sunshine :)

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:07:20 GMT

Sometimes i believe, everything has an ends,

Sometimes, i believe in forever.

I fell asleep while he was telling me about dogs.

And I fell asleep again some night without telling him.

It was that night when skype fail in dialing, and fail the only connection between us.

I don't blame anything, I don't even dare to blame the distance. It was purely my choice in loving you.

And now you are busy doing your assignment and i am busy doing mine. I feel just as much content by just looking at you doing your work in the little square box beside my photoshop, and yeah, in screen. A square box. Couldn't touch, but only listening to the air; Paper cutting sound, or when you slam your ruler on the table when you couldn't find your eraser. I smile and continue designing my brochure that due on this coming wednesday.

The only thing that i can't wait when you are away is to hear your snoring sound at night when you fell asleep before me; or may be talk on the phone until the sun rise up.

And that's when you were away.

And now, i want to wear your sweatshirt to sleep, watch scary movie with you even though you don't have the gut, sneak out at night to look at the stars with you, play your favorite soccer game, make you watch chick flicks, kiss you in the rain, go on walks with you, laugh until i can't breath, wrestle on the bed, hold hands, build and sandcastle and destroy it, sit in front of fireplace and talk about life.

I just want to fall hopelessly in love with you.

It is just a few days away. We, can make it.

Dee

Paperglass heart.

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 09:14:53 GMT

“ I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the bodies way of saying I trust you to be by my side at most vulnerable time, you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies."

Winter, Newcastle, Australia.

Dee

Sweetest thing ever.

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:33:43 GMT

This is the sweetest thing ever.

It was 12 am in australia and we were half way talking, and out of sudden, he went disappear and so i was yelling at his name and called him as well. No one picks up the phone and i was wondering how can one possibly disappear like this in an empty space. And out of sudden, he stood up and close the light..

with him singing happy birthday to you.

How, how wouldn't this be the sweetest thing ever?

How wouldn't this be the sweetest birthday eve ever?

And how will i fall out of love with this silly guy who sing to the laptop in the middle of the night?

Thanks love.

:D

And a surprise cake from my family. :) Awwwwwwwww.

Dee

love.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 01:53:31 GMT

It makes me feel so good to know that i am heading home in a few hours time.

Everything will be fine by then.

It always will.

Dee

You made

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:11:55 GMT

me feel like i have no one in this world.

You devastate the perception i have on you.

I used to have this much love to you, but not now.

You were always my best friend, not anymore.

Dee

Black berry cheesecake Goodbye.

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:57:53 GMT

I tried to sleep in the plane but i couldn't. I have putting him in every rooms of my minds that have possible space for him. Shamelessly to admit that i miss him. I miss him as much as i miss the Vongole spaghetti in star hill gallery that he brought me to. May be more.

Maybe I’m keeping myself up to continuously run thoughts of him, just so he's always apart of me and never far from my thoughts. It is tough. No one says that long distance are easy. Bulky roads, dull of doubts and even the thoughts of breaking ups are frequently running through my mind, but he has always patiently tolerating me, while i stubbornly angry at every little things that he did. I ask myself why but the answer seems to drown, too deep that i can't even see the biggest initial alphabet of the answer. I got angry.

I woke up from my sleep yesterday and tapped on his back. The hotel room, white bed sheets and white comfy feather pillows. I gasped heavily for air and turned to him, requesting for a hug, and spooning. It was a dream, a nightmare indeed.

Thanks for bringing the best out of me. Thanks for always been there for me, thanks for being just you. Thanks for the late night burger and complimenting on my poor cooking skills. For you farting in the bed every morning and hang a smirk on your face, and complaining how long do i take to dress up myself; You have every bit of wonderful that u can possibly imagine, and i love you for every of that.

It was last year, december when i had my first heartbroken and you were there. I drove to your house and you got me a funny break up letter that makes me laugh. Road trip to jitra for ridiculously expensive thai seafood, your father's farm among the bushes; kite flying; eating egg tarts on top of telekom tower during christmas and peck kisses in front of my house at 2 o clock in the morning with you alcohol stinking up to my nose.

So many things to list down about the things that we have done together, so much. I thank you for every of that. At least now, i don't catch myself falling at the tip of my toes that frequent anymore. You teach me to stand up instead of crying, you told me to be strong instead of weak, and you give me the love when i needed it the most.

Happy belated birthday baby, i love you in these wonderful 3 months and still counting on.

P.s: Please love me more than your soccer. LAST warning.

Dee

Dusty nothing.

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:33:31 GMT

It must have got to do with something in my heart. There must be something wrong with my current emotion, well,wouldn't classified it as upset, but, i just don't feel well. Right.

What is wrong, i consistently asking myself this question. I cant seems to find the answer and that is the reason i kept falling. I had the love of my life in my arms, everything just seems to be so, unexpected. I am suppose to be by his side and let him wrap his arm around me, or letting him kissing cheeks anytime, anywhere. Its was a dream.

Tired of examinations, tired of getting emotional over little thing. and the feeling of missing my baby regal is killing me sometimes. I Maybe I’m keeping myself up to continuously run thoughts of you, just so you’re always in my system and never far from my thoughts; may be i am just too stubborn to let you fades from the memory. It definitely not i want. Baby regal, how are u now? I miss you now, especially when i need your ac-companion so much, so much that i don't even know how to handle the emotion of losing you. It was awfully painful. Really.

Things change. It really does. No matter how strong the denials made, it is still the same.

Having so many thoughts running through my mind during this crucial hours kills me. It kills me.

Like dust. Dusty nothing.

It all will end up to be nothing at all.

Dee